Mystery weight gain

May I just say that getting on the bathroom scale makes me turn into a crazy person. I do NOT understand this body. I just don't get it. WHY do I keep putting on weight? Grrrrrrr, grrrrrrrrr.......

I just spent the last 2 hours perusing the metabolism and weight lifting books on Amazon, trying to get a handle on the insanity of an ever upward shifting of my weight. I know I'm doing it all wrong, I just don't know what will work....

Grrrrrr, grrrrrrrr.....

Bathroom inspiration

I can't say WHY ideas always seem to come to me when I'm sitting on the pot, but true to form I had a tiny revelation yesterday on the origin of my emotional eating while evacuating my bowels. Some good came out with the bad, so to speak.

It occurred to me that the ability to bend oneself to the needs of others and live according to their rules and desires has a secret side effect; stuffing oneself with food. If you have to subjugate your own desires, those desires don't really go away and they still want release. Food is a convenient plug for the inconvenient desire. I imagine that there are lots of convenient plugs for inconvenient desires; drugs, alcohol, gambling, shopping, chocolate, sex, starvation, cutting etc. Pick yer poison!

Own whole darn nation seems plugged up one way or another.

Food issues brings another level of insanity with it though, as food is necessary to live. I mean, you can give up drugs and alcohol with no ill effects. Giving up food is not really an option.

Contemplating a lifetime of giving myself over to the needs of everyone else makes me want to devour my refrigerator. When I think about it, almost everything I do is for someone else, even the invisible authority figure ones like the tax man and the bill collector. I'm trying to think of what I did for myself yesterday and I'll be darned that all I really did was feed myself.

What a sorry lot....